Maybe I’m an ignorant jerk, but I’m trying to think my way through this and not be. Any input welcome!
TBH I’m for gender neutral pronouns for everyone. Like when women writers used their initials only, or a pseudonym to hide their femaleness in order to avoid bias. WTF does it matter to anyone what gender someone is OR feels?
It matters to me that some of my friends feel gender dysphoria. I hurt for them. That’s not a fun thing to feel I believe. We’ve all felt irritated by gender stereotypes applied to us by others. We’re all judged by our appearance through filters of inaccuracy born of preconceptions. We’ve all felt disgusted (I imagine!) with conditions of our own biology. Most everybody hates pictures of themselves and is critical of their own appearance. From my understanding gender dysphoria is a pain and mental dissociation more extreme and painful than this, but along those lines (you agree?).
Is gender dysphoria not a psychological construct people are using to counter social conditioning, widespread assumptions and hurtful social interactions? It seems to me that it is recognition of a condition, conglomerated from experiences and deeper causes, and like mental health diagnoses, a label useful only as far as it is actually helpful to each individual, rather than useful as a concept for helping us understand how the world works.
I want to help my transgender friends be happy and I will use their preferred pronouns and support them in whatever ways they ask.
The root of my problem is HRT, I guess. I HATE that such a traumatic physical experience is necessary in any way to anyone’s ability to like themselves and feel comfortable in their own skin. I feel the same way about plastic surgery ( and about the circumcision of children, but that’s another matter). Is it a justified reaction, do you think? Obviously it’s a hardwired response in me. Is it an intelligent one?
As a highly empathetic person I subscribe to many socialist ideas… including these:
The concept that some people deserve to live in not only abundance, but wealth, and others deserve to be in poverty is the root of so much physical, mental and emotional pain. It creates a power construct in which people feel the need to shape their bodies into a tool for impressing upon others their worth to society and to express where they feel they fit in the social structure. It would be good, I think, if instead we could promote our own and others’ physical health, and care for our bodies the way we care for the children we love unconditionally.
Let’s focus on being kind and nurturing each other (and our planet). Let’s try and get all humans away from desperation and out of survival mode. Let’s work out how to mesh together and be a team, where ALL of the parts have a place they are comfortable with.
Less judgement, more nurturing, less pressure, more appreciation. Always.