If I say I’m too fat, I bloody well mean it!  I am not sensitive. I’m not lacking in self esteem. I’m not upset about being obese.  When I talk about my weight and weight loss it’s because I am thinking about it.  At the moment, I stand in a body that is 21-26kg from my ideal weight (70-75kg) and (ridiculously) 36kg from what my BMI says I should be (but that is a load of rubbish).

I respect my own judgement in regards to how fat I am, though I do appreciate knowing other people’s honest perspectives and I’m glad if me being too fat doesn’t offend your eyeballs.  Information is always welcome, whether it’s constructive suggestions or true observations/opinions – whether negative or positive. I still hold my own opinion of myself as the most important thing, and I am certain I don’t like being this fat!  I know I’m not “insecure” about my weight. I’m just judgemental of it!

I’m a trained nutritionist and natural therapist… With 7.5 years of studies in the health sciences… And a history of doing cool stuff like karate, running, and bike riding.  I loved myself back then… I loved where I was heading. But being 96.5 kg is heading down a path that will only lead to even more disability and disempowerment. I remember when I liked how I looked, and how it felt. And this isn’t it. But I reckon I can fix it, if I give it my attention for a while. This period of my life is all about putting myself back on track to being the me I should have become, but didn’t. I want to be a certain way. I’m not there yet. But I’m not going to give up and just settle for less than I intended to be. I might plateau and enjoy the view for a while, but this is a climb and I’m not going to stop until I reach the top of that mountain. (I wrote a song about that, BTW 😉 ).

When I talk about being overweight and weight loss I don’t feel bad about myself.  I’m just observing my position, my desired destination, and taking the next step up the hill. The next step is only one step and I’m good at steps. Look…I just did another one. And another one. No biggie.

 

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Categories: Managing Yourself

Fiona Gray

Fiona Gray is a musician/composer (voice, guitar, piano, bass, harmonica). She does solo gigs & plays piano & sings in Toowoomba band, Jungle Detour. Personal Interests happiness for all, spirituality, kindness, organic gardening, musical instruments in general, human development, medicine, natural health, writing novels and informative books, art, home decorating, renovating, crochet, guinea pigs, Pomeranians, human beings and their fascinating stories and lives, sustainability, the natural world, creatures of all kinds

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